The Old Testament: Proverbs II – Contradictions Weaken a Message?

Posted on June 17, 2013 by virgowriter

I was a pretty big pain for my parents when it came to my diet.  I avoided all things green or really anything with nutritional value.  I was downright neurotic about my food—I was fine with hamburger meat and I liked spaghetti sauce but the two WERE NOT to be combined.  I even insisted that the sesame seeds be picked off my hamburger buns.  My parents will tell you that they indulged me not because they didn’t care about my diet but that they just ran out of the energy to get me to eat differently.

Part of why I avoided vegetables (aside from hating the way they tasted) was that I never saw Dad eating them at the dinner table.  Sure, we were supposed to eat our greens (or carrots) but Dad didn’t have to.  Because I asked about this seemingly confusing double standard, I was told that Dad’s an adult and he can do as he pleases. I wasn’t buying it.  If vegetables were so important, why did Dad avoid them?  Oddly, my parents caved, although not because I had pointed out that this was one of those do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do contradictions.

Proverbs contains some strange contradictions as well.

One of the recurring ideas expressed in Proverbs is the idea of not building a high gate/fence and avoiding fighting.  Based on some of the context, the idea about the walls/gate is probably about within your community—you shouldn’t shut yourself off from your neighbors, the other people within your community.  I can see this, but this is not that developed when it comes to the attitudes one should have about neighboring communities—after all, in order for Jerusalem to get back on its feet after the exiled Jews returned, Nehemiah had to get that wall around the city rebuilt and reinforced.  A wall and high gates offered protection in a dangerous time.

But should you automatically trust your neighbors in ways you should be weary of other tribes/communities?  Sure, there is some wisdom working here, but is it wishful thinking and not providing some benefit of the doubt?

And then there is the idea of fighting.  Yes, there are benefits to not fighting just because you can or because you lose your temper.  You should try and find a different way to resolve conflict.  But this is a strange, contradictory message in the context of the Old Testament, for any city or people who happen to worship a different God, the Israelites were lead time and time again against them to wipe them out.  No attempt to resolve differences (at least not discussed) with conversations.  No, wiped out.  So which message do you believe? Yes, you shouldn’t fight, but sometimes fighting is really good and should absolutely be pursued? Yet Wisdom equals peace (3:17). So the opposite of peace, war, equals the opposite of wisdom?

When it comes to war, Proverbs dictates that one should consult several advisers, and in so doing, victory will be assured (11:14, 15:22). Though, no discussion of who should be included as an adviser.  How does one go about selecting appropriate advisers?

I started eating vegetables in my 20s (yes, it took that long). There are many times I wished my parents wouldn’t have caved to that stubborn kid at the table who refused to clean his plate or even hand the food off to the family dog, who was parked under the table at my feet.  I don’t think they saw me standing on principle—balking at the seeming contradiction.  Maybe if this had been cleared up in some way for me, I wouldn’t have waited so long (or been as sick as often).  Of course, if my tastes hadn’t required too much energy to try and change, I could have made the change myself.

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The Old Testament: Proverbs I – Messages Need Proper Context

Posted on June 15, 2013 by virgowriter

I was never into crafts but I did experience a brief taste for painting.  We’re not talking paintbrush dabbing oils to canvas.  I was young and made do with what I had, which amounted to little jars of paint and a bunch of old, unused picture frames.  I ditched whatever picture was in the frame and doodled on the glass.  Bam, framed picture for a present.  For Christmas 1986, I gave one to each of my parents, something that represented one of their interests.

For Mom, I painted: “When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.”  I think I added a shopping bag in the corner (though I might have painted something resembling a credit card).  She was pleased.  For Dad, I painted: “When the going gets tough, the tough get drunk.”  I painted a beer mug in the frame’s corner, complete with a few bubbles over the rim.  Dad was gracious but a bit confused.  Later, I find out, he stashed it in a file cabinet drawer.

Didn’t he like my present!?  So I asked him, and he said sure, he appreciated the effort, but the problem was in the message.  Perhaps I didn’t realize that I was suggesting that he was a drunk (which he wasn’t).

So what inspired the message? Like most men we knew, dad enjoyed a few beers on the weekend, especially when other guys were over to watch football or an HBO-televised Mike Tyson fight.  During BBQs, sure; and perhaps one 7-and-7 after a long day’s work.  But our trashcan was never littered with beer cans.  His behavior seemed in line with the other friends of the family and even in what I saw in commercials and in movies. What was wrong with suggesting a man liked to drink? Isn’t that what drunk meant?

Words have power, because of what they communicate, and as such, you have to make sure that what you say is what you mean (and that the words you use can’t be interpreted in a different way).  This is why you need to pay attention to what you’re saying, especially if you’re in a position to influence an impressionable person.

That’s why, in Proverbs, when the advice constantly bashes women, the message is problematic, and it overrides the one hint of them being positive.

Proverbs is basically a listing of brief morsels of life advice.  They read like a series of fortune cookies collected in book form, and some convey the repeated ideas with slightly different words: “The righteous will never be uprooted, but the wicked will not remain in the land” (10:30); “A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself” (11:17).  Some of these are useful, as they advocate: being honest, kind to your neighbors, tell the truth, seek wisdom, discipline your children, avoid fools, don’t be vain, wicked people will die, etc.

The ones that are not so useful are the messages about women.  Although from a certain perspective, say, people who disrespect women, see their place as subservient to men, etc. will probably see wisdom in these ideas.

The set-up of this book is to pass knowledge from a father to a son, and one of the nuggets of wisdom is to avoid “quarrelsome wives,” as they are a headache (27:15-16, for example).  This particular notion is uttered several times.

Sure, who wants to fight, but there’s no mention of being the man who avoids creating the situation that would make a woman (or any person) “quarrelsome.”  The implication is that wives like to fight and create friction out of nothing.  Basically, no consideration is paid to being a good husband.   So it seems the potential to see women who have something to say as problematic. This is a good message?

The looking down on women (or a “type” of women) continues with the blame on “bad” women who prey on vulnerable men who lack self control.  The son is told to avoid the temptress, the lowest of the low (apparently), for she lures good men astray (5:3). Whatever happened to men taking responsibility and just saying no?  Apparently, it’s up to the women to do the thinking when it comes to sex, for men are powerless.

Perhaps this is somewhat of a backwards compliment to women.  Proverbs does (perhaps unintentionally?) provide a positive role of a strong female, however.  Much space is devoted to the power of Wisdom.  Interestingly enough, Wisdom is gendered female (referred to as “she”).  Casting a female as someone with power is a departure from the tone of the rest of the book, where it concerns women.  The problem for some is that since Wisdom is not shown to be human, the compliment might get lost in favor of seeing how much a pain in the ass women are going to be for (straight) men in the future.

Although the message to maintain a righteous path is beneficial, there’s some context missing.  All people should be taught that there are bad (i.e. morally questionable) people to avoid.  But unless you play up the good ones to embrace, the message might be understood to be that all strong women are to be avoided and that men are blameless.

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The Old Testament: The Book of Psalms V – You Made Your bed, Now Lie in It.

Posted on June 13, 2013 by virgowriter

When I was 19, I moved to San Diego.  Out of high school, I attended Cal State Northridge (CSUN).  That first semester I decided that I needed a change of scene, so I made plans to transfer to UC San Diego, which meant dropping out of CSUN and taking classes at a junior college in San Diego.  I left Los Angeles with $200 in my checking account, an apartment which I would be sharing with three strangers who had advertised on a flyer, and an interview as a customer service rep at Blockbuster Video.  I didn’t get into my finances with my folks—they assumed I’d had enough money.  I was known for planning ahead.  But it cam up when I was talking about my plans with one of the two bosses at the comic book store where I worked.  He asked, “You really only have $200 in your checking account?”

Perhaps I was just being naïve, but I wasn’t worried. I was making a decision, and I knew that I would make my way out of it somehow (if I did get into trouble).

Those first six months were rough, although I pretended otherwise to my mom.  She could probably hear something in my voice on the phone, though she didn’t press me.  Every month or so, she’d send a hand-written card with $40 cash in it.  I had groceries for a week. Once I started working restaurants I got on my feet, and I probably won’t ever eat peanut butter sandwiches again—the food on which I subsisted for that year.  You have not lived until you’ve been poor, and I mean living off of $9,700 a year poor. You won’t forget it either. Going through that builds character—it motivates you.

In the Book of Psalms, the speakers in various entries also have no issues asking (or in most cases, telling) God to take care of all these enemies.  You’d think these people never had to lift a finger against the people who were constantly at their heels waiting to strike.  True, in some cases they were outnumbered, but is that a reason to throw up your hands?

In the voice of David, the psalmist wants God to hurry up and take care of the wicked (5:10), wants enemies wiped out (9:6), wants bad men struck down (all of Psalm 10), and protect me from my enemies; God, it’s all up to you! (Psalm 17).  There are more, but you get the idea.

Maybe some people are ill-equipped to suck things up—perhaps some situations get so bad you need help—but the way the psalmist(s) go on at times, begging to be helped and have his/their enemies vanquished, you can’t help but think, “it’s your fight, leave God out of it.”

I understand leaning on people during hard times, but unless you make a go of it on your own, you’ll never be able to walk on your own.  After all, if you’re in a situation of your own making, isn’t it your responsibility to see your own way out of it? I understand that the issues addressed in a number of these psalms involve conflicts, some of which are in through the point of view of David (mostly), where’s he’s the victim.  But war always happens for a reason—David was involved in his fair share of wars (on God’s behalf, no less).  He had to piss off someone, so should he be surprised when events turn against him? What’s the old saying, “You made your bed, now lie in it”?

I maybe could have picked up the phone at any point in that first year in San Diego and asked for money to bail me out.  My parents would have done what they could. But I’d made the decision to move there, and it was my decision to see through.  I am proud of the fact that I found my way out of that challenging year. If I did receive that little help from Mom, to whom I will always be grateful.  It got me over the hump, but it left the heavy lifting to me.

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