The Old Testament: 2 Kings, II – Jerusalem Falls

I was raised in a sports family, and of the teams we followed most, The Lakers were tops.  I often associated the end of a school year with the basketball playoffs, in fact.  As a family, we would visit our friends’ houses for BBQs and a group viewing party of the games.  I have quite fond memories of the early-80s rivalry with the Celtics and then the mid-to-late 80s rivalry with the Pistons.  I wasn’t that good at basketball (I’d only played pick-up games at school or shot HORSE at recess—I was a little leaguer), but I had learned by watching games with my brother and father (and other males of our close families) about what made for a good player and what made for a good game.

If you watch enough basketball (or any sport, actually), you can tell when the game is slipping away, and when a championship is on the line, it can be downright sad.  You almost knew when it was going to happen, too.  Magic would have had an off series or Kareem wasn’t playing up to his own standard; or maybe the team wasn’t playing with their usually chemistry. Or maybe, they were simply outmatched and being outplayed. In any event, you could just feel the end coming, and when the final buzzer sounded and the opposing team’s crowd exploded in celebration it made you mad: that should have been us.  How’d we let them beat us?

The Israelites sins had been building for generations—they had bad rulers, they’d turned their backs on God, they’d constructed high places and altars to different gods, and, in general, they’d simply strayed from the path which God laid out for them (and had so often struggled to shepherd them back to).  They’d been given one too many chances, and God was done.

This is about as frustrating to watch as a skilled team who continues to turn the ball over at crucial moments of a game.

Out of all the sins God has allowed to pass within Israel and Judah, the breaking point involves the final insult of Manasseah: succeeding Hezekiah, he rebuilds the altars his father worked so hard to destroy (21:3).  He also sacrifices his son (21:6) and shed far too much innocent blood (21:16).  And when you think about how much blood has been shed in the Old Testament thus far, this is saying something.

So, out of all the momentous moments discussed in 2 Kings, the biggest one is this: Jerusalem falls, and its people carried off to captivity in Babylon (25:4).  They had been involved in several battles and they came up short when it counted most.

God waits, of course, until several rulers have come and gone to allow this to happen.  After Josiah arrives to renew the covenant with God, it’s too little, too late.  Too much damage has been done and not enough effort expended at the right moments to make a difference.  Under the rule of evil king Jehoiakim, Judah is conquered by the Babylonian king.  There’s no praying the Israelites out of this one.  God’s temple is burned and its treasured stolen (25:9).

This momentous event is given little development, as if it’s an aside and not the event that was responsible for the loss of the Ark.

Since the Bible is long, you know the Israelites will find a way out of their captivity (everything works in cycles in the Old Testament).  But in the moment, hope is gone.

I pictured the people being led away, looking as sullen as the players on a losing team’s bench.  And like at the end of a basketball finals series when I’d watch the winning team celebrating amidst confetti on the court, I couldn’t yet think about next season, about the changes my team could make, the ways they could rededicate themselves and rebuild.  No, in the moment, all I could feel was the loss amidst the quiet of the other people with which I had been watching the game.

Next up: 1 Chronicles. Every time I hear this title I think of Rush’s Greatest Hits.  Perhaps this is fitting, for this band s finally being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

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The Old Testament: 2 Kings, I – What Makes a Good Ruler?

In 1992, I was awaiting my 18th birthday.  I was looking forward to graduating high school, preparing for college and, of course, Lollapalooza that summer. Oh, and I would be voting in my first election.  I certainly had my criteria.  Young and idealistic, socially liberal, I knew which candidate would get my vote.  Come on, it was no contest: President Bush (sr.) was old, crusty, and seem to be completely out of touch with “young people,” to whom he kept creepily reassuring that he had programs geared towards us.  Ross Perot, although he made effective use of his plethora of charts and graphs, seemed more like an alien than a head of state.  Clinton, on the other hand, was a rock star.  He spoke well, vibrated youthful energy and played the sax on The Arsenio Hall Show.

One of my best friend’s father, for whom I held an enormous amount of respect, sat both me and my friend down and talked politics.  Rather than talk down to us or belittle our opinions, he merely wanted to hear why we thought what we thought, and, at the end of the conversation, he imparted what he felt was the most important piece of advice he could give us: doesn’t matter what you believe, as long as you believe in something; and remember: Your values will change as you get older.  They’re supposed to do that, and your politics should reflect that.

He wouldn’t be voting for Clinton, who went on to win the election (and reelection four years later).  He was a cool president who made a handful of “mistakes.” Still, he presided over the country’s tech boom and the general air of prosperity that accompanied it. Still, people vilify the man for several reasons.

To be honest, both books of Kings are about as exciting to read as a PowerPoint presentation.  I realize that’s not the point—the chapters contain a catalog of a series of rulers who mostly did wrong by God (and ultimately their people).  And since these rulers typically fell short in one key area—they sinned against God, which usually meant they either worshipped or allowed to be worshipped the wrong (i.e. false) gods, the description of the reign is typically reduced to a paragraph or two.

In general, the kings here continue to screw up.  When they’re not worshipping the wrong gods or building altars to them, they’re threatening prophets (like Elijah and Elisha), sacrificing their own sons (16:3; 21:6), or slaughtering pregnant women (15:16) or evicting male prostitutes from the temples (23:7).

King Joash reigns for forty years, and boy does he have his hands full.  As a child, he was hidden from his grandmother Athaliah—who murdered the remnants of the royal family when she learned that her son King Ahaziah was killed.  This grandmother wanted to rule really badly, apparently (11:2).  He also has to expunge all the false gods/altars from Judah (of which he is somewhat successful—some high altars remain) and repair God’s Temple.  Unfortunately for him, he’s assassinated by his own officials (12:20). In fact, most of the kings discussed in 2 Kings had to watch their backs, as they were often taken down by their own inner circles.

Joash was considered a good ruler, in part because he was one of the few who follows God.  And this is the real barometer in this book of what makes a good ruler—but more times than not, the leaders erred by allowing the other shrines to different god’s to remain.

The real standouts arrive late in the book: Hezekiah, who reigned in Judah for 29 years and brought down the other god altars.  He’s undone by boasting about the temple’s wealth to the Babylonian messengers.

And then there’s Josiah, who reigns for 31 years.  His priests discover the Book of Law in God’s Temple and he spreads god’s word (and their own history).  Apparently, it had been lost, like a family album tucked away in a dusty attic. Although he succeeds in renewing the covenant with God, the lord is fed up.  In the end, Josiah’s reward is that he will not live to see Jerusalem fall.

In the end, aside from the truly heinous actions—human sacrifice—2 Kings uses few guidelines to judge the quality of these rulers.  I.e. on moral/religious grounds.  The accounts are so brief, you have to take the author’s word for their character, reducing the information to what would be considered in modern times a sound bite.  This makes it difficult to arrive at an informed decision about the quality of a person’s character.  But given how I once made up my mind about which president to vote for, I guess we all have our own guidelines.  Although I would make the same decision now, I wish I had been exposed to more information.  When you only use the information provided—info provided in a compressed manner (sound bites), we side with people based on bullet points.  This is a bigger problem when someone else—a newscaster, for example—is providing these bullet points.

At the end of the day, we just want a person to be in charge who reflects what we consider important. Sometimes this works out; sometimes, not so much.  But if you want to take the information at face value, maybe it’s less mentally taxing if you implicitly trust the source. When I voted for president for the first time, I thought I was given enough to make my decision; as I’ve matured, I realize who little I had to go on, even if I still would cast the same vote today.

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The Old Testament: 1 Kings, III – Don’t Mess with Jezebel

In my early twenties, when I was newly out of the closet, one of my new friends—with whom I was having lunch at the time—looked at me, and with utter disbelief in his eyes and his voice, said, “You seriously have never seen Mommy Dearest?” I had avoided the film, due to its campiness, but I apparently was failing as a gay, having never experienced Faye Dunaway’s portrayal of one of the ultimate gay icons: Joan Crawford.

I know little about what went into the making of the film, but I do know the filmmakers did not set out to create a camp classic.  Rather, I imagine, they believed they were portraying a complicated woman who was seen as, well, a bitch—and not just by her children (specifically, because she wrote the book on which the film is based, her daughter Christina).  When I watched the film with my friend, he prepped me for one of the several famous scenes (no, not the “no wire hangars’ scene): you’re gonna love this.  Joan Crawford’s character has stepped in for her husband on the board of Pepsi and reassures the men who assume she will have nothing to contribute: “Don’t fuck with me, fellas.”

Lines like that cemented the performance as iconic for gays, in part because we appreciate how someone who has typically been underestimated steps up and lets people know she won’t be walked all over.

If Joan Crawford had lived during the time of 1 Kings, she’d have appreciated Jezebel, who could have taught Crawford a thing or two about handling power—and she’s dangerous.

Jezebel is perhaps the most dangerous female thus far in the Old Testament.  She makes the scheming women of Dynasty look like nuns (19:2).

She’s married to King Ahab, and when Elijah tells her husband that he needs to change his tune or risk dying, she tells God’s prophet that she’s going to kill him.  Wisely, Elijah flees.

She gets her comeuppance in 2Kings, and you don’t feel a moment sorry for her, nor she for herself (interestingly enough).  She’s defiant to the end.  When she learns that Jehu—who’s leading an uprising against the king—is coming for her, she gets herself together: hair done, outfit put together (9:30), and then goes to the window.  And to Jehu on his horse, she asks if he’s come in peace and reminds him that he’s a murderer of the king—no trace of fear here.  She’s smart enough to know she’s done, but she doesn’t beg or apologize, and, when the servants in the house respond to the Jehu’s order to throw her from her window, she doesn’t scream.

Give her respect for having a backbone in a clearly hostile environment for women.  However, the real lesson to be taken from her life (and perhaps Crawford’s) is knowing what you’re doing with the power you have.

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